Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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