yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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