He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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