The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
