Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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