yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
