I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
