You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
