Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude. I can hear the air.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
