Your tits are I can't wait for
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
