there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
