So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think my vagina is haunted
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
