the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
