I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
