This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
