And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There's always time for handjobs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
