We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
