Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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