i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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