I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
