I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
