Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
