I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
