im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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