I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
