I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
