well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
