i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
