I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
