Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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