Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
