How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
