hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
