Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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