Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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