Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
