yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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