I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
