I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
