Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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