We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
