dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
