I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
home. puking in laundry basket.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
