My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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