I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
