Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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