I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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