i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
