I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
