even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
