My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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