My brain says no but my pants say off.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
