Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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