How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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